Before I got married, I was very confused. I’ve read various book about relationship, but they are mostly on “How to rescue a damaged relationship”, “What not to do in a relationship”, while the benefits of marriage is rarely sung.

Well, so I dive into a marriage and summarise you 5 benefits I get hold from of marriage.

1. It makes you a better person

• Definition of “better person”: A person who finds it easier and happier to live his life.

Assume that you are willing to put in effort and improve.

After marriage I noticed there’s so many things that I DISLIKE AND HATE.

My husband is too tidy (yes, I’m the opposite of most female), his sister is too loud, his mother is too soft on decisions, his brother is too lazy. I can’t even stand that they watch television. Who spent so much time on this useless activity?

They were perfectly good citizens before I moved in. Of course, now that we are living under the same roof, I tend to see them through a magnifying glass.

Not only the person in the house. Why does the neighbour own so many cars? How many butts does he have?

Learn to accept, the good and bad

The marriage let me reflect on myself. Which is something I did on and off before marriage, but now I do it more efficiently and swiftly.

Whenever I don’t like a trait of someone, more often than not I possessed the negative trait myself. His brother is lazy? I am certainly not the most diligent person on earth.

As I started to accept something bad from someone, I accept the bad on myself. He’s not lazy, he’s just taking a break. You should do that too.

Husband is cleaning up again? Well it’s about time I wash my cups from 3 days ago.

2. Happy

Yes, there are fights and arguments. We were on a row only after 3 days after our wedding. Disagreements are more frequent on the first few months of marriage, personally, we hardly fight after the first 3 months.

Other times, its pure happiness. We now date 24/7. It wasn’t something common back in the days. We were both busy working adults. Meeting up for movies and dates were luxury back then.

My parents, are happy too. Asians somewhat believe that we need a partner and offspring to live a complete life.

My grandma who’s in her nineties, in her words, you need an offspring to set you up properly in the coffin.

While my parents hope that I get married with someone reliable and they have one responsibilty off their shoulder.

3. Confident

I feel more confident with a partner.

About our future life, about ourselves.

Surely you can do things better with a dynamic co-worker?

My husband is good stuff. 5 months into marriage my dad was covid positive and I need a huge sum of money, emotional support, and physical help. I was surprised that he supported me all these unconditionally.

Knowing that he’s a reliable life partner, things do not seems as hopeless as it used to be.

4. QoL

This one is only from my point of view. As the wife, I get

• free meals
• Cleaner bedroom.
• My bottles refill on themselves
• driver
• play mate, who paid for my golf game, Nintendo switch…
• free meals are still my favourite

5. Love

Life is meaningless.

Until we give it some.

Love is available regardless you are single or married, divorced or widowed.

I can’t speak for the other three status yet, I only know that in this marriage, I give and receive love constantly.

You know that someone is waiting for you back home, needs you as much as you need him, willing to share half of his belongings if anything goes wrong, and that is very uplifting.

I learn to love the imperfections within myself and around me.

6. The ups and downs

There’s up and downs in life. When it comes to the downs, my husband is the reliable person I can export my negative emotions.

He listens to my rant without judgement, not giving any suggestion, purely listening and nodding his head.

He believes I can find my solutions, and all I need at that moment is somebody to listen.

Well, if there is any achievement, he would also be the first person I shared with.

Sometimes we find it hard to share happy news with friends. For example, a salary raised, it’s best to keep our mouth shut. But I can tell me husband safely, and brag to him how much my boss appreciated me.

7. Disadvantage

There are many disadvantages to the married lifestyle. But they all are related to this:

Effort,

you need to put in effort

When things are heated, I would rather go to the gym and lift 100pounds than speak another word to him.

And the effort, or force (F), to pull the blanket back to your side, or milk your child watching the other one snoring while control yourself not to kick him off the bed, those are some real effort.

Author: DonaLiew