Last year, we had our pre wedding shoot (PWS) done in Shanghai, at a tourist attraction named Thames Town.

This idea originated when we had to attend a conference in Shanghai. We booked our ticket at February 2018, travel at the end of November 2018. Tickets to Shanghai is affordable with Air Asia, as long as you book it in advance. Our total return-flight cost RM550.00 per pax, from Kuala Lumpur KLIA2 to Shanghai Pudong.

And then, we have 9 months to plan.

First, we asked around if we have any friends working in Shanghai to be our photographer. Even though we do have a friend who is passionate at photography, the plan didn’t work out. Because then we had to solve the gown supplies, make up, hair-do.

So, as a chinese, we searched around in TaoBao for wedding photography package.

Plenty of search results came out.

With constrained budget, we chose one of the cheapest package available. I couldn’t deny I am

We had a target venue, it was the Thames Town in Shanghai. About 45 minutes car ride, or 1 hour train ride from the
from town. Searched for “上海婚纱照泰晤士小镇”, we chose a package that cost RMB1,500.00, which is less than RM1,000.00.

• 30 photos in total
• 10 photoshopped photos
• the package does not include hard copy of photos or any album
• gown and suit are provided (there’s no premium or designer section, we are allowed to choose from the whole store)
• make up and hair-do are included
• even transport to shooting venue is included

We were willing to take the risk because:

• we really don’t need the album, as my parents one are just sitting on top of shelf and gather dust for annual clean up
• i know how to use photoshop, so even if it turns out bad, maybe my skill could come in handy
• my husband and I are really good at sweating, so we thought an autumn environment will be the best if we are taking pictures in warm outfit

Pre Wedding Shoot at Thames Town, Shanghai

What do we have to prepare:

• shoes. They have shoes but we’d prefer to walk our own pairs
• Wish I brought my own tiara
• have some ideal photos ready in your phone, so you could show it to the photographer.
• bring a USB pen drive with you

What surprised us was that the whole process took almost a day. From 10am to 4pm.

Description	Total Cost
Air Ticket (for 2 pax)	RM 1,000.00
Bridal Shoes	RM 150.00
Subway to	RM 10.00
Photography package (Included Thames Town transfer, make up, wedding dress, accessories)	RM 1,000.00

The Shanghai PWS video slide show is available at Youtube.

Check out our next post after a year of our marriage.

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A Year of Marriage, the good and the bad

Before the wedding, I was so afraid of what lies ahead, I had a few therapy sessions with psychologist.

I can’t see the goodness of marriage anywhere. There’s hardly any successful marriage story I’ve witness with my own eyes, there’s so little hope we can keep things where we are right now. And it included our own parents stories, and these not-so-happy endings are way too common in Asian families.

Anyhow, I stepped into marriage despite of many negative stories about divorce, losing yourself by having offsprings, reducing from sweet couple to mere roommates, etc…

This week marks our 1st year anniversary. Not only that I survived the first year of our marriage, things are pretty much the same with those days before we were legally related.

Benefits of marriage

Why spend the effort and money onto this marriage thing? Surely it sow some benefits right?

1. Overall upgrade of QOL (Quality of Life)

• Pak toh is no doubt happy 

Being in a relationship has always been a happy events for me. The movie dates, dinner dates, scrolling the phone with the present of another person in the room… 7 years of dating, I was looking for each date without fail. Back in the dating days we met each other only once to twice a week. Sometimes less than that amount.

Now living in the same house makes dating much easier and more available.

It means, every night I have a date.

After 365 days of these dates, I am not bored of them yet.

• Room is tidier

My husband is much more tidier and cleaner person compared to me.

He can’t stand a tiny bit of dust and toilet without Clorox smell.

It took me quite sometime to adapt to it, for example, learn how to tidy up the table each time after use. It’s not easy for me learning, as it was my old habit to throw things wherever I want because its my OWN DAMN ROOM. It took me at least 3 months to get use to this new rule. It got me onto the emotional roller coaster a few times because he’s too tidy.

We had to communicate, on he gives me more time to learn, more considerate if my makeup box is not exactly 90 degree aligned with the dressing table; while I try to climb up one step at a time to his standard.

So the marriage got me a more hygenic living environment. And sparkly toilet.

• Free driver (to golf, to dinners, to gathering)

I love free rides.

• Security

It generally feel safe when you know there’s someone waiting for you all the time. Not just you, your problems, your dissatisfaction over the day, your jokes you’ve waited a day to share. Your future plans, someone is there for you unconditionally.

5 months into our marriage, my dad was covid positive and he spent 8 days in ICU.

Throughout the process, my husband was very supportive, physically, mentally, financially.

He moved out with me to a quarantine hotel, he gave comforting words anytime he was able to, he supported me financially, a huge amount and he made it seemed like no big deal. 8 days in ICU during the peak of Covid cost us RM100k. If you are curious.

• Time saving

We no longer have to spend 1 hour each day on the phone, on driving (stuck in jam) to meet each other for dinner plans. It saves time.

• Religious and belief

My husband is rather religious. I learn from him whenever I have trouble and doubts. We meditate together. He explained his perspective of life to me when we held hands and walk in the park.

2. Becoming a better person

I was a fiery bad tempered person. Now I am just bad tempered.

3. Sponsors

My husband showers me with meaningful gifts. He didn’t buy me Louis Vuitton, but he sponsored my various lessons, where I can keep improving myself.

Gym sessions, mermaid swimming course, golf lessons, diving lessons, kindle, make up lessons, MacBook…

He genuinely wants me to live the life I dreamed of.

The Cons

So far the cons are making effort.

What we lose is the Freedom to do whatever shit we want.

We need to make effort on respecting each other, and lifting 50kg dumbbell is sometimes easier than communicate with your partner, or admitting your mistakes, especially when you are in the middle of heaty arguments.

I read a lot of materials before, and after we got married. Men from Mars, women from Venus is the marriage bible I stick to.

Summary

Marriage is overall a Sdn Berhad (private limited). The sooner we understand this, the sooner we can have a profitable account.

I also agreed to stay with my in-laws. Which I was very reluctant at first. I gave in for a better financial freedom.

If I survived another year of this marriage, peaceful living with in-laws, I look forward to update my 2nd year to you. After all, Asian marriage needs more happy ending, encouraging stories.